During the October 20 broadcast, the wife explained that she had been caring for her husband through a rare illness and cancer diagnoses, including cholangiocarcinoma, while accompanying him to the hospital and managing his daily care.
She said she prepares three healthy homemade meals a day using natural seasonings, often making separate food for her husband and their children. Despite the effort, she said she had never heard him express gratitude.
The wife also described feeling rejected when she tried to assist him physically. She recalled offering to support him while he went to the bathroom, only for him to raise his hand to prevent her from holding his arm.
The accumulated frustration eventually led her to question how long they could continue living that way. She said she had previously told her husband that living separately might ultimately be better for both of them.
Her husband, meanwhile, said he remains in treatment after undergoing 16 rounds of chemotherapy and acknowledged that his condition had become somewhat worse.
The couple has an 18-year-old daughter and an 11-year-old son. It was their daughter, rather than either parent, who submitted the family’s story to the counseling program after watching her parents’ relationship continue to deteriorate.
During the session, it became clear that the daughter had also been carrying considerable emotional stress, including worrying that her parents’ arguments might somehow be her fault.
Counselor Lee Ho-sun comforted the daughter and acknowledged the difficult position she had been placed in.
By the end of the counseling session, the husband promised to make a greater effort to express his feelings by hugging his wife and daughter every day and telling them, “Thank you” and “I love you.”
Netizen Reactions
The sampled reactions focused heavily on caregiver burnout. Many commenters sympathized with the wife’s exhaustion, while a smaller number emphasized the suffering of the patient and urged her not to make a decision she might later regret.
1. I’m in the same situation... Of course the cancer patient has it harder, right? Everyone tells us to understand even when they get angry because they’re sick... As the closest caregiver or spouse, you can’t even go anywhere and say how hard it is. Even if you do, all you hear is, “Could you possibly have it harder than the patient?” Of course we know the cancer patient is suffering the most... But we have to provide care, look after the children and keep working too. People who haven’t experienced it won’t understand.
2. Seriously, when you’re caregiving long-term, you end up getting sick, growing old and being worn down alongside them.
3. Husband, don’t take it for granted. Taking care of your own body is ultimately your responsibility. Since when is caregiving something you’re simply owed? No matter how sick you are, you should still feel grateful. The wife must be having such a hard time ã…
4. If you’re going to provide care for a long time, you have to treat the patient as normally as possible. Otherwise, the caregiver could end up collapsing before the patient does.
5. When someone develops a serious illness, they often end up taking their resentment and suffering out on the person closest to them. I lost my husband to cholangiocarcinoma too, and it was so difficult that I lost more weight than he did. Please stay by his side until the end so you don’t regret it later. Some patients even overturn meals that were prepared with so much effort. No matter how difficult caregiving is, could it really be harder than being the patient? Cholangiocarcinoma is very difficult to treat.
6. Even parents couldn’t do that much! I feel even worse for the wife doing all the caregiving than for the husband with cancer! It must feel like hell! And their children are still young too.
7. A couple of years ago, I saw a story about a husband leaving his wife after she got cancer. I can understand it... Living with someone who is seriously ill is extremely stressful. It doesn’t matter whether it’s the wife or husband. Live your own life.
8. At the very least, recognize that you should be grateful... Do you know how much energy caregiving takes? Sometimes the caregiver gets even more worn down than the patient.
9. If I were in that man’s situation, I think I’d leave on my own. I wouldn’t want to watch my family suffer because of me. Leaving would be difficult too, but I’d feel that was better than having them exhaust themselves caring for me and spending so much money because of my illness..
10. Scale back the caregiving from now on. He says he doesn’t need that much help anyway... He can’t eat very much, so just make simpler meals. The caregiver needs to protect their own health too. If you get sick while caring for someone else, there may be no one there to care for you.
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